Im back to post for this week, enjoying my koi's green macchiato. The days i spend inside Army seems to be longer each week, maybe this is because no more holiday in-between. To be honest, i feel quite down during this week. I'm lost to my own lies. Telling myself is okay. 

I jus realized that my confident level plunge down drastically. I used to believe myself that i would earned (sales or marketing job) if i go after what i want to do outside after army, but somehow in me, im starting to doubt myself till a extend that i really thinking of signing on NAVY, to be financial stable. With all those incentive of 25k, and other stuff that navy people said. Im really asking myself will i be lost after ORD? Am i really that lost? Or just because i am scared to face the reality. I got many many feedback, telling me i will definitely do well outside, dont be stupid on signing on. With all those encouragement, somehow it doesnt really work...... 

I need to do a checklist out physically, then i can cross out, to check on what i i have achieved. 

(Going overseas and study and work is added in my checklist now, as i really feel like escaping) if only i have the means, i will now. 

To be honest, booking doesnt serve any meaning already. 

In anycase, my firing training is this coming week, and 2 more weeks to field camp. 3 more weeks to last 2 iPPT, i just need my standboardjump to pass, i will be so happy.

I shall end. Cya guys.